Wednesday, June 25, 2008

stages

We have 3 boys: in 3 stages of life.

One is just on the edge of becoming a man, responsible and solid; seeming mature beyond his years at times, then as a little boy who needs our guidance, at other times. He is trying to find HIS way in life, music and creativity literally paving the path before him.

One is struggling to grow up, seeking independence and often demanding it; stepping over boundary lines in an effort to break free from authority. Yet a child, his eyes tell the story of who he really is : a boy wanting but not ready, to be a man. He is all-heart, but doesn't want to admit it...... just put a baby in his arms and watch his face.

And there is One who is still all-boy, who even now plays in the basement with neighborhood friends, in a majestic fort built with blankets and chairs, and lots of painter's tape. His life, a glorious ride at an amusement park: like The Scrambler, the one that goes giddily this way and that, back and forth, sweeping around in the breeze. No cares. Only fun.

We have one daughter: in still another stage of life. I haven't yet met her, but I know her in my heart. Seeing her picture for the first time just over two weeks ago, there was such recognition. I remember being surprised at my lack of strong emotion when I caught my first glimse. I didn't burst into tears or squeal or almost faint. I simply gazed upon her and thought, "Oh, THERE you are...... I've been looking for you and waiting for you and you are just exactly....... mine." It was as if I already knew that face, those eyes, the precious cheeks, the sweet curve of her lips.

May I be the mama that my children need, in whatever stage they are in: setting boundaries in an effort to build their character and not control their lives; and sprinkling grace along every step.



4 comments:

Unknown said...

hmmm...as I read and ponder what you have written it makes me think about my girls and their stages that are not so different from the stages that your boys are in. :)

Wendy

Norma said...

great news .........please continue to blog. it is so uplifting for everyone to hear these stories. we will be following along.bon voyage!!!!

Anonymous said...

As I read the paragraphs about the boys I shook my head yes, yes in recognition, but when I read the paragraph about ...my daughter I had tears in my eyes, only a mother would know and understand those sweet feelings about a child she has yet to meet-whether still in the womb or in a faraway land, it is the same. So exciting for that first meeting :0)

RaizenBoyz said...

I have been following your blog, my brother and SIL are adopting from China too (lid 4-7-08). I have 3 boys also, and I love the way you described their stages, they sound like my boys. I too long for a daughter and we are beginning our adoption journey through the foster care program. It may be several years from now, but this our chosen path and we feel so blessed. Thank you for sharing your family, I can relate. Congratulations for your new baby girl, she is so beautiful.