I think I just nailed it. I officially have blog pressure.
I don't have new pictures to post. The few of you who follow this blog want pictures!
I don't have words to say. (Well, I do, but they seem stuck inside me.) I have found since starting this blog, that I really do LOVE to express myself through my feeble words. And as I surf around and see the beautiful words that OTHER people say; as I see immense creativity written and posted across other blog pages..... well, my insecure self just pops to the surface. But, I don't want to be them. I really do want you to see ME. The good, the bad, and the ugly. The wordless, the tongue-tied, the insecure.
So I will ponder that; I will close this post and spend some time with the One who inspires me, the One who gives me words. He fills me and refreshes me and showers me with good things.
The Lord has indeed showered this family with good things in these past days, weeks, months.
Ezekial 35: 26 I will bless them and the places surrounding my hill. I will send down showers in season: there will be showers of blessing.
I'll be back in 24 hours or so. :-)
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"The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say."
- J.R.R. Tolkien, from The Fellowship of the Ring
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Ahna
- Cindi
- Wife and Mom. Crazy about my husband of 19 years...and our 3 boys. Thrilled beyond measure that very soon, a sweet baby girl from China will join our family forever, with all its love and chaos! This blog is bits-and-pieces of the path that we're walking.
bill & cindi
12 comments:
Your words are beautiful, I would say you truly have a gift. I love pictures, but more than anything your words express emotion and bring the story to life. I'm so glad I've gotten to know this side of you =).
Of course I love the pictures, but I have told you what I think of this story, it could be a book. I think it could actually be printed from the blog & published, if it were only that easy. You are gifted, that is for sure. Gifted & blessed :-) Don't feel pressured, just enjoy her while she is small, it goes by too fast.
Talk to ya soon,
Christy
Your words are always so beautiful....and we do love the pictures too....but don't feel pressure...enjoy your time with that sweet beautiful baby and when it comes to you, you will write it!!!
Lisa
That makes total sense. I'm not finding myself wordless right now, but rather, I have all these thoughts and ideas and inspirations ramblinga round my head, but then I start to type and think "who reads this? who cares? does this even make sense?" So, I sit and dont' type and second guess myself.
Good for you for knowing when not to force it -- I may need to follow your lead.
(And thank you SO much for coming over to "visit" yesterday -- it is always nice to see a new face in the comments. =)
I have always enjoyed your words!!! It is not the 'creative' words that draw me in ~ it is knowing the the person on the other side of the blog is being themself. No fluffy words just real!!! You are that and that is why I keep coming back!
NO pressure Cindi, just be still and it will come. Thank you so much for this blog it has really blessed my heart. I love being here and seeing Gods work unfold before me. Thanks again...
Christel
don't feel pressure! do what you can. =) take a break and focus on the Lord and your family.
its a good thing.
okay gotta say it, don't you dare feel that creative pressure to "be good enough" Your words are NOT feeble but a beautiful window into a most wondrous experience of an obviously special family. And I for one feel blessed every time I read them and view the pictures, and am thankful that you have chosen to share them. Since I just met you right before you went to China to get Ahna, I especially feel like I know your sweet family now :0) and am so happy that Evan has Seth in his life. So just continue to write from your heart.
You are a great writer!! I feel insecure when I read your blogs!!! But, I am one who raises your blog pressure! I check here everyday! I am trying to live through you! And, I think little Ahna is one of the most beautiful little girls I have ever seen. I love the pictures from church on Sunday!
We OFFICIALLY get to leave in 22 days! Sept 4!!
Cindi--
I could not have said it any better. Thank you for saying what I cannot bring myself to say. I can relate entirely to the pressure you feel. And the comparison game can render me totally paralyzed. I have had to block out the voice of the enemy who lies continually because it is all he knows to do. Be encouraged! You are a courageous woman. I hope I get to meet you in person one day. I have so enjoyed getting to "know" you through this blog and your beautiful Ahna.
Love to read your blog and pictures are fun, but don't feel like you always need to have pictures. You've had so much going on with the trip and return and your boys! You're amazing!! Take care.
Janet
Nothing convinces me of my own mediocrity like a quick visit to other blogs, and guess what? Yours included! ;-)
True, I like the pictures, no doubt about it, but I like the words as well, particularly honest words like these that reflect my own journey...
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